Discovering the odd sexual behaviors of someone we love is alarming. We easily slip into denial and enable these behaviors out of fear for ourselves and our loved one. When we do this, we rob them of an opportunity to get help and heal.
Here are nine signs that your loved one may be suffering from a sex addiction.
- Their computer is a sensitive subject. If you lovingly peer over their shoulder, or snuggle close when their laptop is open, you might notice they abruptly close it. Before you get a good look, they’ve logged out of all their websites and minimized their open screens. They may even give you a harsh word for invading their privacy. It may seem like a quirk, but the meaning is obvious: they have something to hide.
- After climaxing during sex, they masturbate. Sex addiction is in part a compulsive disorder. Even after being sexually intimate, a few hours later you may be woken up by your partner’s absence in bed, or activity in bed. Finding them masturbating or pleasing themselves after sex is not a reflection of any inadequacies.
- They don’t mind unsafe sex. They prefer it. With any addiction, there is a general lack of care toward safety, hygiene and health. Addiction is a disease of the mind, in which it becomes dependent upon pleasurable stimulus to feel happy. For many people, unprotected sex feels better. Whether it is out of desire or ignorance, the recklessness should be noted.
- Sex gets paid for. Addiction creates financial ruin and sex addiction is no exception. In an effort to protect their sex addiction, addicts will seek outside ways of engaging in sexual activity. Phone sex, pornography, escorts, and more will be on credit card statements. Many sex addicts find themselves in debt from charging their cards. Perhaps their schedule gets busy with undefined plans, or their monthly budget takes a plunge.
- They’re always ‘dating’. Partner after partner pass through their lives without much of a face or a name. Relationships are never really built, and the time together is fleeting.
- Without sex for a day, they’re very cranky. Like an alcoholic without a drink or a drug addict with their drugs, a sex addict faces cravings. They suffer symptoms of obsession and withdrawal without receiving their stimulus of choice. On the outside this can look like edginess, or being restless, irritable, and discontent.
- You catch them in lies. They seem to lie about everything. Somehow you can’t get an honest answer out of them. Even when the facts are laid out and their lies are made evident, they avoid taking responsibility.
- You find yourself wondering if they have a sex addiction. Usually by the time you start questioning their mental and behavioral health, things have taken a turn for the worse. If it wasn’t so bad, you might not be thinking about this. See a counselor or doctor for guidance in how to approach your loved one about their sex addiction.
Aurora is a full service treatment program that offers personalized care for sex addiction at a primary level.