You may not be an addict or alcoholic yourself. Yet, you feel as though you struggle and suffer from something which you cannot describe. It’s true, your childhood was less than ideal. Over the years, you have found ways to cope. Growing up in an addicted or alcoholic home can have a deep effect on you, mind, body, and spirit.
- You’re Afraid. A lot. There is a lot to be afraid of when you grow up in a home which is afflicted with the addiction or alcoholism of a loved one. While not all alcoholics turn violent, they can be abusive in other ways. Additionally, the unpredictable behavior of someone who is addicted can be terrifying, especially to a young child. Alcoholism and addiction are often referred to as Jekyll and Hyde disorders. Who a parent or loved one is when they are sober, or at least dry from their substances of choice, is a stark contrast to who they become once they are intoxicated. Such instability instills a deep sense of fear into a child. Growing up, that fear manifests in different forms, including fear of intimacy, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of social interactions, and more.
- You Suffer From Toxic Guilt And Shame. Unfortunately, children of addicts and alcoholics have to deal with a lot of projection. Projection is a coping mechanism people use when they cannot bear the weight of their own guilt and shame. Children are ridiculed, criticized ad blamed for everything from their parent’s own alcoholism to trivial matters. As a result, growing up in an alcoholic home can result in someone developing a toxic guilt and shame complex which harms their sense of self and evaluation of their self worth.
- You’re A Perfectionist. One of the most common ways people who grew up with constant projections of guilt and shame deal with it is through perfectionism. If someone is perfect, there is little anyone can do or say to hurt them. There’s no abuse, no blame, no criticism to be had in the face of perfection. Eating disorders, anxiety, and other mental health disorders can be spawned from underlying issues of perfectionism. Perfectionism is also a method for control. As long as everything, including the self, is perfect, little can be out of control or go wrong.
- You Don’t Understand Normal. Your friends’ families seem oddly normal. That normalcy is something you just don’t understand. A common consequence of having a difficult time relating to any idea of normalcy is creating chaos. When things are not chaotic, someone who grew up in chaos will usually create it for themselves in some way. Your normal is chaos, and you can’t seem to change that.
Aurora Recovery Centre seeks to heal the pain of the past through a clinically founded program of treatment utilizing holistic healing modalities. Our goal is to provide recovery in mind, body, and spirit. Residential treatment at Aurora is available to men and women seeking recovery. We are here to light the way to lifelong recovery. For more information call 844-515-STOP.