Though we work so tirelessly to discover and develop a definition of and relationship with a higher power, we are quick to forget our faithfulness. We put our faith and turn our trust over to a higher power as we come to understand one. From that faith is built a foundation upon which we anchor ourselves and the compass with which we guide our lives.
After living faithless, without trust, and in so much fear for so many years, it is difficult to hold on to that belief whole heartedly in the face of trial or tribulation. After all, the abusive use of addictive substances like drugs and alcohol disrupts our naturally ability to cope. Blocking our brain’s inherent systems for emotional regulation, substances become our new coping mechanism. Used in times of good and used in times of bad, we make our substances of choice our higher power because we learn we can always rely upon them. That being said, there are thoughts which come up indicating that we are losing faith in our spiritual higher power again. Remembering that recovery is a journey taken one day at a time, we mindfully acknowledge our thinking and faithfully turn our attention toward our higher power once more.
My Higher Power Doesn’t Love Me Anymore
We come up with any kind of a reason. Many of us experienced true abandonment at some point in our lives, the justification for which we likely wrestled with (and continue to.) At the first hint of change, which causes us to feel insecure, we leap to the assumption that we’ve done something wrong or that we are in someway damaged, causing us to feel we are not loved. Though each person’s higher power is unique according to their beliefs, most choose to believe in a greater force that is unconditionally loving.
Recognize that insecurity and fear of abandonment is just that- fear. It is entirely impossible to be in faith and fear at the same time. If you start to feel like you are not loved, keep in mind that the spiritual connection we feel depends on us. Perhaps there is something going on in your life that is causing you to separate yourself from your higher power. Sometimes, it is just fear itself which can cut us off from the sunlight of the spirit.